Abstract
Postpartum blues during the perinatal period is viewed as a normal adjustment clearing within fourteen days after delivery. However, this period typically would not require any type of intervention (Seth, 2016; HRSA, 2019). Postpartum depression (PPD), on the other hand, can last up to six months with professional intervention and may last for years, if left untreated (Griffen, 2021; HRSA, 2019). The experiences of mothering can be mediated by various factors including socio-economic status, partner dynamics, and the support or acceptance received from the dominant society (Tsai et al., 2011). In this study, my goal was to position myself as both the primary investigator and sole participant in the exploration of my own postpartum experience and working towards solidifying my identity as a bisexual, female, Mexican American, student, and mother. In this exo-autoethnography the researcher’s lived experiences were examined through an intergenerational lens, challenging how research is written about women who have experienced childhood adversity. In this process, I described the pregnancy, birthing, and postpartum experience while exploring the ways in which my familial background and cultural teachings influenced reworking my identity as a mother. In my analysis, I underscored how grief over past loss re-emerged and influenced the emergence of postpartum depression. But also, how my culture prepared me with the tools to navigate adversity and strive towards well-being and growth. My hope is that this dissertation will begin to destigmatize the capacity of individuals with backgrounds of poverty and trauma as they navigate life events.