Abstract
Much of the current literature on transracial adoptees is narrated and created through the voices of adoptive parents or professionals (psychologists, social workers, teachers etc.) who work with transracially adopted kids. My goal was to position myself as both the primary investigator and sole participant. A critical autoethnography allows the researcher’s lived experiences to be examined thoroughly; it connects the narrative to both social and political contexts, while challenging how institutionalized research methodologies write about adoptees’ lives (Ellis & Adams, 2014; Gergen, 2014). In this process, I have identified major events and moments of clarity during my life that highlight how I was impacted by adoption. Ways in which I was able to begin to heal from and understand my trauma are explored. In my analysis, I underline how liminality, grief and loss, and attachment trauma impacted my own mental health in order to call attention to the needs of transracially adopted children. My hope is that this dissertation will be the beginning of a lifelong project of giving voice to others who were also transracially adopted.